Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
