Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
