Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
