When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
