I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
