Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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