Porn is love you can see.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
