I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
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well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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