So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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