That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
