are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
