HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
