I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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