Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
