I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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