Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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