I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
