There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ketchup is God's man juice
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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