All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there's paper in my vomit.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
