It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize