I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
