I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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