he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize