So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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