a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize