chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
