something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
