He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
