Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
