16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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