We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
