is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
