for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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