Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
