You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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