Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
