im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize