I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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