Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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