So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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