If that was your dad, he is hot
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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