At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
