I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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