she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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