Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
