i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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