Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
