I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i drank out of a bidet.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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