seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
