doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
