so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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