Having a random hookup so left but love u
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize