you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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