called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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