where am i from again
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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