Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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