The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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