So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
