About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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