It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
