How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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