I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
