3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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