the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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