I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
