Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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