Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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