Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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